“… I tried so hard
and got so far
In the end
It doesn’t even matter!” shrieked Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington for the iconic song “In the end”, misery was there, we failed to notice.
We could clearly see the agony and despair in well-known American poet, Sylvia Plath’s work. Depression does not have a special liking for anybody, it is not biased. The industry which looks glitzy and glamorous from the outside has its own share of victims- Marilyn Monroe, Silk Smitha, Jiah Khan, Pratyusha Banerjee, just to name a few… Deepika Padukone confessed she felt “empty and directionless” during her battle against depression. Money and fame seem not all that important now, does it?
We need to first understand what depression is, it’s very different from “being sad”. Changes in their eating habits & sleep pattern can be observed. They experience difficulty in concentrating, anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loneliness, loss of interest in activities they used to love doing, mood swings, panic attack, sadness or emotional distress. There may be physical symptoms like loss of appetite, substance abuse, weight loss & headache.
The human mind is a marvel of nature. Sometimes it is expansive yet sometimes so narrow. The mind is a prison but only it can set you free. But even the mind can become sick or weakened allowing for negativity to enter. This is usually triggered by some tragic event.
A friend of mine had gone through a harrowing ordeal resulting in her suffering from depression. She witnessed the deterioration of her sister’s health and her eventual demise after being diagnosed with cancer. What’s worse is, her boyfriend of six years left her saying they’d both “lost the spark” at a time when she needed him the most. In her own words she says, “Well, it didn’t feel like life. I was just existing. I was working against myself. I had nothing to live for”… The “trigger” could be anything. Sometimes a series of events, a breakup, a lost competition, a lost job can push one down the rabbit hole. That happened to my brother who says, “I had lost all drive to do anything, I couldn’t paint because nothing I did brought me any peace”… There’s this beautiful girl I know who wished that she “doesn’t wake up the next morning”, that she felt like she “was locked up in a dark room”. Expectations and pressure to perform sparked a flame of anxiety and self-doubt that burned through her confidence. Being a survivor myself, I understood what they meant. I had a rough childhood which was my “trigger”.
Many times, the afflictions of the mind don’t have any physical characteristics and are, therefore, not noticed. So, even the most cheerful looking person might be suffering underneath. If one keeps all those emotions bottled up for too long, it might invite unfortunate consequences. A friend of mine, a young soul, gave up and succumbed to depression. Mental illnesses are considered taboo and are not discussed in drawing halls or classrooms. The notion of going to a psychiatrist brings the fear of being labelled as “mental”. It’s time people and society get educated about mental health, learn about letting go of inhibitions and speaking about their problems to their loved ones.
I’m proud to say that all of them I mentioned about are growing strong with every passing day.
There are few who succumb to the pressure of their own mind… maybe, find that death is the easier way out. But there are a few who get up, smile and spit back at the face of depression saying, “Is that all you got bruh? Really?” 😂..
My friend kept doing her best; now she’s student of a prestigious college ready to forge a bright future for herself. She’s even won Miss Fresher’s award. My brother has become stronger, he has developed his skills and helps others who just want someone to listen to them. He’s also been very supportive of this blog of mine. Remember that beautiful girl I told you about? She has now learned that she should prioritise her activities so as to not get swamped. She’s finding a balance between her college and her passion- dance. She has gained a lot of respect and popularity as a versatile dancer. And me, I have started this blog in an attempt to make my voice and in essence, the voice of people like me heard.
So that’s what it is, anyone can fight depression. It’s not easy, neither is it too hard. It’s necessary for people suffering from these demons to know that the only step to be free is to reach out and ask for help. We just need the right kind of support system to have our back. Remember to NEVER GIVE UP…
For anyone who wants help dealing with depression, please don’t hesitate and try calling helpline numbers given in this website-http://thelivelovelaughfoundation.org/
You can always email me too- firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂
Poem by Manish Chavan:
When I constantly battled with the one within me,
I wished to show the world what only I could see
I wanted to express but my pain was vague,
Spreading fast through my thoughts like a plague,
My brain grew docile as my emotions danced,
Seemed much like a chain reaction as this mess advanced
Was I weak? Was I a disgrace?
Does everything I do lead to mistakes?
Am I mental? Or Am I stupid?
What makes my life never seem lucid?
I fought, I failed
I tried, I cried
But the courage in me hadn’t died
The fuel did exist in me, I had just lost the spark,
I had to stand again and fight away the dark
Victory came close to me everytime I stood again,
I rose back from my ashes
Like a PHOENIX in this game